pickle jar

OK so you want the pickle jar do ya John? Well habitually i have a problem when I'm directly in constant contact with other people for roughly longer than 2hrs. , sounds short right? Wrong!! To me its forever. After purchasing that ticket via greyhound in Logan i waited what seemed forever, (roughly half and hour) I boarded the bus thinking too myself, "What is the least sat in area, So I can get some peace and relaxation." (don't ever take advice from me where to sit on the bus) I sit in the 4Th seat back too the right, logically i think no one sits in the first few seats unless there ride is short. To which your information is usually right on the money, not in my case this time. We rode for about 20 minutes and stopped off in Preston, (Lord i hate that town demolish it. please!!) and pick up the first batch of people beside me. A fat man who was directly across from me, a really fat woman who sat directly in behind me, and finally a skinny pasty looking worm of a man who sat in front of the fat man beside me. And herein lies the pickle jar story! Join me, diddle loot diddle loot diddle loot
As the bus commenced the trip, the fat lady in behind me farted and not just a normal fart but a Gleneen diarrhea fart. You know the kind that makes you gasp for air so much you dive your face into your arm pit and become disgusted with your choice of air dis pension location that make a break back too the original spot only too be thwarted again by the Stench of Death! (whew that took a lot out of me and i was only typing that.) So i was miserable from the start, thankfully the fat man next too me (my guess her husband) speaks out in chiding tones of displeasure. "nasty!" I could have said something i suppose but that seemed too have summed it up fairly well. We traveled too our next stop with out too many interruptions when just before we pull in the Fat lady in behind me here for too referred to as the Pickle Lady, asks me "Do you want some nuts?" I look at the bottle filled with nuts of precarious nature, and reply "No thanks!" a curt reply at least for her past transgression. I then quickly board off the bus in a rush for a quick bite and water closet stop, seemingly the whole time being followed by this pair of lumbering elephants every direction i turn. After a few minutes i pop back on the bus and move up 2 seats. Which put me at the second seat from the front, the weird pasty man did not board back on but the fat duo did and too my exasperation directly behind me again and too my side. I lean back and hope too catch a few more zzz's before i get there, (my head at this time was beginning to hurt.) So the pickle jar lady in cue gets a phone call from her best of best est friends and she really got loud. At first she started talking ( more like yelling) about her nuts, the ones in the precarious jar. About how she found them at a resort somewhere in the butt mark of nowhere and she really liked how they tasted. (just for your info i hate listening too other people in stupid bliss) After about and hour i ask her too please quite down, she thoughtfully did for about 3 min. Then she started speaking in loud whispers ( a pet peave of mine, this lady was touching all my wrong buttons), this conversation burst in glorious exaltation about a pickle jar, loud, obnoxiously she began too speak. (oh how i wish i could give you the voice inflections, and the horrid back country bragging. About a PICKLE JAR!!! "SO i went too the Lady and asked her do you have a pickle jar i could use, and she said no i got a salad jar but no i wanted a pickle jar and the pickle jar is what i came for!" now i could spend about another hour or so boring you with the details of this pickle jar adventure, but just thinking about it makes me annsee. Her annoying conversation lasted long until the night too which she past out on the phone or at least appeared too we arrived at butte and unloaded too trade buses, and i knelt and prayed they would not follow me too great falls. and god answers prayers ya'll its real cause mine were answered the pickle jar lady left and i was pleased. O K so there you have it my pickle jar story a lil lame but its true and barely bearable good night.