pickle jar

OK so you want the pickle jar do ya John? Well habitually i have a problem when I'm directly in constant contact with other people for roughly longer than 2hrs. , sounds short right? Wrong!! To me its forever. After purchasing that ticket via greyhound in Logan i waited what seemed forever, (roughly half and hour) I boarded the bus thinking too myself, "What is the least sat in area, So I can get some peace and relaxation." (don't ever take advice from me where to sit on the bus) I sit in the 4Th seat back too the right, logically i think no one sits in the first few seats unless there ride is short. To which your information is usually right on the money, not in my case this time. We rode for about 20 minutes and stopped off in Preston, (Lord i hate that town demolish it. please!!) and pick up the first batch of people beside me. A fat man who was directly across from me, a really fat woman who sat directly in behind me, and finally a skinny pasty looking worm of a man who sat in front of the fat man beside me. And herein lies the pickle jar story! Join me, diddle loot diddle loot diddle loot
As the bus commenced the trip, the fat lady in behind me farted and not just a normal fart but a Gleneen diarrhea fart. You know the kind that makes you gasp for air so much you dive your face into your arm pit and become disgusted with your choice of air dis pension location that make a break back too the original spot only too be thwarted again by the Stench of Death! (whew that took a lot out of me and i was only typing that.) So i was miserable from the start, thankfully the fat man next too me (my guess her husband) speaks out in chiding tones of displeasure. "nasty!" I could have said something i suppose but that seemed too have summed it up fairly well. We traveled too our next stop with out too many interruptions when just before we pull in the Fat lady in behind me here for too referred to as the Pickle Lady, asks me "Do you want some nuts?" I look at the bottle filled with nuts of precarious nature, and reply "No thanks!" a curt reply at least for her past transgression. I then quickly board off the bus in a rush for a quick bite and water closet stop, seemingly the whole time being followed by this pair of lumbering elephants every direction i turn. After a few minutes i pop back on the bus and move up 2 seats. Which put me at the second seat from the front, the weird pasty man did not board back on but the fat duo did and too my exasperation directly behind me again and too my side. I lean back and hope too catch a few more zzz's before i get there, (my head at this time was beginning to hurt.) So the pickle jar lady in cue gets a phone call from her best of best est friends and she really got loud. At first she started talking ( more like yelling) about her nuts, the ones in the precarious jar. About how she found them at a resort somewhere in the butt mark of nowhere and she really liked how they tasted. (just for your info i hate listening too other people in stupid bliss) After about and hour i ask her too please quite down, she thoughtfully did for about 3 min. Then she started speaking in loud whispers ( a pet peave of mine, this lady was touching all my wrong buttons), this conversation burst in glorious exaltation about a pickle jar, loud, obnoxiously she began too speak. (oh how i wish i could give you the voice inflections, and the horrid back country bragging. About a PICKLE JAR!!! "SO i went too the Lady and asked her do you have a pickle jar i could use, and she said no i got a salad jar but no i wanted a pickle jar and the pickle jar is what i came for!" now i could spend about another hour or so boring you with the details of this pickle jar adventure, but just thinking about it makes me annsee. Her annoying conversation lasted long until the night too which she past out on the phone or at least appeared too we arrived at butte and unloaded too trade buses, and i knelt and prayed they would not follow me too great falls. and god answers prayers ya'll its real cause mine were answered the pickle jar lady left and i was pleased. O K so there you have it my pickle jar story a lil lame but its true and barely bearable good night.

happy brother

A lil happy note for all you bloggers out there who are reading me on occasion, I have just received a flashback. I get those often, mostly vivid memories from Iraq. Today's flashback was a happy one. A while ago Elisabeth was about too undertake a big trip, her first big trip driving herself from Montana too Utah. Quite a few hours, and difficult if you have never done it before, especially in the snow as was in this case. She gave me a call, and asked me to accompany her. I cashed in my check and off i went too the McIntyres via the commuter Bus known as Grayhound (i feel as if im writing a story, but im not cause its true! ahaha!) in a nut shell the ride sucked on the way up, maybe some other time I will recount my "Pickle Jar Story" but the trip finally landed me close enough too great falls too get a ride too Kirsten's. We had an awesome time playing with McKensie and Madison as well as ...Shelby isnt it i think so... if not im sorry im a bad uncle or im just not very good at remembering names on the spot. :) Ok so we got ready for the ride and we said a prayer before we left yes we prayed cause we neeeded it and we listened to Brian as he did all of our double checks for us, Thanks by the way Brian, we did pick up a gas can on the way out just too be safe. The trip went off with out a hitch we had no problems with Elisabeth's new car as we traveled until roughly about 10 miles from Butte,(i love saying that Butt, Butt , Buttt! ok that's enough!) the car sputtered and coughed and died as we were traveling up the hill, much too Elisabeth's exsasperation we were able too get the vehicle another 10 miles and pull into a gas station after messing around with our gas cans(thanks again Brian) so we pulled in too Butte and gased up things were looking good when we took off, but the roads were icy and just as we were merging into traffic from the on-ramp we slid, and not just any slide but a major slide. Now being as I have experienced so many wrecks in my life, i started too dictate every bump before they happened too Elisabeth ( so as not too scare her ) and keep her informed cause that what big brothers do (sounds silly huh!). well we came out fairly well i only received 2 broken ribs and a couple of bruises and scrapes nothing i haven't experienced before (in a karate tournament that is) and Elisabeth only suffered mostly from shock and some back pains thank you prayer! I was so happy too be there at that moment cause i'm usefull in car crash incidents really i know a lot about recovering from a wreck from shock all the way too clearing vehicles and paramedic training, and i was there too help Elisabeth. It still makes me a lil teary eyed just thinking about how good i felt too be a releif too Elisabeth. We rented a car and drove the rest of the way too Utah, and returned with oh so helpfull John in the snowy blizzardy weather too get Elisabeths car. So yeah that my Blog just a silly memory from the past don't know why it hit me so hard too day but it did and there it is. Sorry if i embarassed you Elisabeth but its my story too and i'm gonna tell it my way, cause that 's what i am a good story teller more or less with out the puncuating and such i love you and Merry Christmas!

Religious Fallacies

So i've been thinking how many religious fallacies have you heard, that makes you so mad you can crap a Giant golden pine cone and not feel the pain. For ex-sample (heeh) "If you don't know God probably doesn't want you too know!" I mean really do you accually think god doesn't want you too understand anything, too just accept everything without question or the "trial" prayer how about you go discover life's wonders on your own. I hate taking things for granted especially the one gift god gave and many take for granted; the ability for reason! Next fallacy that cooks my turkey, "If you pray over your food you will never get sick cause god protects you!" I have been the wonderfull recent recipient of this by not more than a month ago - I didn't eat the food - i couldnt bring myself too. who honestly can believe that just because you said a prayer over food that has been rotting in your fridge for more than two months that god will protect you ( personally if i was god i'd make sure you got sick just so you would learn your lessen too take care of your body) ok i'm done venting.......... for now!

why

why do women have too rub everything in," like mmmmm this foood is good!" while your busy they just think its awesome why!!!! and then too make matter worse they gotta rub it in. You gonna eat yet, your not paying attention to me! why!! i get sick of it, please tell me why! Is it a desperate cry for attention or do they gotta rub it in for fun?